Playing mindgames with romance-chatters

She:
Hey Oliver!!!I can’t believed it!!! You really look like my old ex which was in a military since 1995…are you also a military men?
Me
No, I am your ex and a spy, I have to have you eliminated now because you found me. The doorbell will ring soon. Sorry, darling.
 She:
Damn what you tryna says!!!! You only looks like my ex but you can’t be my ex
 Me:
I am.

Is it OK If i activate your webcam so that I can make sure my buddies are doing their jobs?

//** your webcam is being activated **//

She:
Why all your peps sounding like hell… Which buddies you talking about?

Where is ya from?

Was your location Oliver ???

Me:

I am not allowed to disclose this. Please stay put.

The buddies whose job it is to make you vanish.

Don’t resist. Then it will not hurt at all.

She:
You English in poor and non understandable [sic!]

Bye

Me:
You are funny, you can’t even spell ?

 „Your Enligsh is…“
 What country are you in anyway?
 She:

Don’t know what you saying everything about you in illiterate

Me:
„Is“ not „in“. You should get your money back from the person who taught you English ?

 Nachricht wurde nicht zugestellt.
 
 And ‚what you saying‘ shpuld be ‚what are you saying‘.
Nachricht wurde nicht zugestellt.
 
 Oops, a typo. Forgive me, oh princess.
Wird gesendet…